Tuesday, March 29, 2005

How to know if your asian

WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE ASIAN.
1. You wait until 8pm to phone a friend on Optus free time.
2. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping.
3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You hate to waste food. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mum will give a lecture about starving kids in Africa)
6. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
7. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.
8. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
9. You boil your water and allow it to cool to have a sterile drink
10. You never get sick of rice
11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.
12. If you're under age 20, you own a Honda Civic, if you're over 20, you own a BMW. (And/or a Volvo!!!)
13. You're parents don't know how to speak softly, always yelling and washing your face with spit.
14. You always complain about the food, how dirty utensils and plates look at Chinese restaurants and afterwards complain u need to do a number 2.
15. You spend your nights and weekends on the ICQ chatting.
16. You most likely are doing commerce or information systems at Monash or Melbourne Unis.
17. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat buffet.
18. You know someone who can get you a good deal on electronics, computers and mobile phones.
19. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin or your parents cut the sides of the tube with scissors to get all of it out before it's thrown out.
20. Always watch movies at the cinemas on Tuesdays
21. You have this plastic covering in the hallways of the house to protect the carpets.
22. You find it hard to pronounce simple English words such as "three" into "free" or "tree".
23. You've gambled at the Crown Casino at least once and get upset when you lose 5 bucks.

Not to mention: Asians and mobile phone accessories. Asians and dyed hair. Asians and karaoke (Filos)
Asians and the entire population of their "Aunty" and "Uncles".
Asians and their infatuation with either weight loss (girls) or weightgain (guys). Asians and break dancing or raving. Asians and Morning Glory, Whitehouse, City etc...
Asians and flares
Asians and chunky headphones to look cool.
Asians and sticker photos.

so, basically, all of this would be true....except 21 (because we don't have carpet) 22 (which is my mum's case)

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